Tuesday, June 12, 2012

If I tell you, I'd have to kill you.

I make brownies.  And not just any kind of brownies.  Cheesecake brownies.  Watching your figure?  Don't eat these.  If you choose to eat them and decide they are delicious, you do not want to read this blog post.  You will see exactly how much butter and sugar and eggs it contains that feel remorse for just having finished half the pan.  You will be mad at me but don't be.  I am giving you fair warning. If you like these brownies.  Do not read this blog.  This is a dessert that is frequently requested by friends for birthdays and celebrations or just because it's Tuesday and they said so.These are a particular favorite of one of my friends and he even requested it at his birthday.  His wife requested the recipe so that this event could occur.  Passing the recipe on was a milestone.  I worried if I passed this recipe on, I would no longer be necessary.  Who was I if I was not the cheesecake brownie hook-up? It was an on-going joke about my decision to pass the recipe on or not.  We joked about how mayyyybe I would pass it along but I might not write it down exactly as I make it.  Finally after much deliberation, I gave it to them.  She made it and it exploded in the oven.  It bubbled over the sides and was an absolute catastrophe.  This woman can cook so it was not a question of skill.  I did not sabotage the recipe but it was an epic fail.  I have no words.  We stood in front of the oven staring at the volcano of a brownie in awe.  Then in true "us" style we grabbed our forks and dug in.  The taste was not affected.

So today I made this recipe for the 927th time and laughed as I remembered that moment.  My family begged for the recipe and I recollected my angst in passing the recipe on.  So today, I am being bold and posting the recipe for this:

Cheesecake Brownies


Brownie batter (adapted from Hershey's best brownie recipe)
2 sticks of butter (melted)
2 cups of sugar
2 tbsp. of vanilla
4 eggs
1/4 tsp of salt
1/2 tsp. of baking powder
1 cup minus 2 tbsp. Hershey's best life cocoa powder (or a HEAPING 3/4 cup)
1 cup of flour

Cheesecake filling
8 oz. of cream cheese (softened)
2 tbsp. of vanilla
1/4 cup of sugar
1 egg

1. Put on your favorite jams at high volume. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Hand mix butter and sugar. Add vanilla and eggs.
3. Add dry ingredients for the brownie batter.
4. Pour batter into 11 x 13 pan.
5. Use an electric mixer to combine the cheesecake filling ingredients.  Mix until they are smooth.
6. Take filling and scatter dollops of the filling around the batter.
7.  Take a knife and snake it through the batter to marble the batter.  I go up-down, left-right, and finally diagonally in both directions.  Marble perfection. 
8. Bake for 35-40 minutes.  Check to see if it is done by sticking a knife in the center.  If it is still gooey and sticks to the knife, give it more time or just get a spoon and eat the gooey mess with a massive scoop of ice cream because somethings just can't wait.

There.  My recipe.  Posted. Online.  For the world.  Enjoy.

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