Sunday, October 3, 2010
God of this city
If you know me, you know my love for the world, traveling and especially Latin America. On Friday, I got to go to a concert with Saundie to help raise money for a mission trip at our church. The group is going to Guatemala and as I watched the video about their plans for the trip and heard the stories of the couple who is planning on moving to the site to start a church. I must admit that I was slightly envious. All throughout college, I was certain that I was meant to live, and serve there. My heart yearns for a great story to be told about the life I lead and missionary life sounds so glamorous (in that I gave up my comforts for Christ kinda way). I sat during the concert and wondered if I was where I was supposed to be? Denver? Colorado? Where the poorest are often richer than the middle class among other countries surrounding us? Where everything is at our fingertips? Where I can live a privileged life? Shouldn't a devout Christian be living in the desert eating locusts like John the Baptist?
I listen to this song and I am reminded of the plan and purpose God has for me here. About five months ago, before I retreated to another summer of camp, I was given a clear instruction. Kirsten, you are here. I need you here. God put such a call on my heart for beginning a Spanish ministry here, at my church, in a creepy theme park where no one even speaks Spanish, except my friend Roberto who I tricked into coming. So far, the Spanish ministry is me and him, but the Lord blesses those who wait, entonces aqui espero.
The waiting place is not my favorite place to be but it is essential. The semillitas (seeds) have been planted but even someone with the blackest of thumbs could tell you that they cannot be harvested the next day. Paul talks about this in Romans 1:13a "I do not want you to be unaware, brothers, that I planned many times to come to you (but have been prevented from doing so until now) in order that I might have a harvest among you..." Many times we know exactly what we need to do and then we are asked to wait. During this time, God is growing a crop and working the fields so that the harvest may be great.
Mientras espero, God reveals to me my purpose. Purpose 1: boy repeating 2nd grade who clowns around to avoid the emotions of a hard upbringing, 2: troublemaker from the womb just looking for affirmation and attention from someone, ANYONE, 3: a girl sharing a small apartment with 3 siblings and a mom, just barely making it by, 4: girl enjoying time with her Dad who spenta good chunk of her life in jail and is finally out, 5: cousins who cling to each other because that is who they have, 6: girl who is timid and looking for a friend, 7: girl lacking boundaries and love, 8: girl just wanting affirmation that she is loved and alright, 9: girl overflowing with life and giving joy to all around her, 10: 9's table buddy wanting to fit in but being so different, 11: a fourth grader my project from two years ago who has built up a tough shell and rarely lets anyone to see the real her.
And so today I remember: greater things are yet to come and greater things are still to be done in this city. I am here. I am in His will and my life is being used for His Glory. What more can a girl ask for?