I tried shamrocks and horseshoes but cheesecakes are luckier.

I am just curious exactly how much green food dye you all think is sold in the month of March?  Like is this something I should by stock in every February and sell back in April?  Its kind of amazing.  Thanks to Pinterest, the green food dye obsession was not limited to an alcoholic beverage, it was baked into things.  Many much things.  I chose to convert this cheesecake from a red velvet one to a green velvet one.  I usually pass up on eating my desserts and it is not because they are bad but mostly because I have the will power gnat.  (Just so you know: I started writing the phrase "I have the will power of a..." and then I had no idea of something that had little will power, so then I googled it and the first thing to pop up was will power of a mature dandelion.  Huh.)  This dessert, however, passed my lips.  I must admit it because the recipe called for 2 bottles of food coloring and you were left with a green tongue so I cannot deny its consumption.  It was delicious.  It would be glorious to make it every month and dye it a new color.  What color is April Fools? or could I do tri-colored for Cinco de Mayo?  Oh the possibilities! 

In all of my research for my St. Patties bake-a-thon, I was challenged by someones comment in my online recipe hunt who said that green food dye was a weak attempt at Irish creativity.  I am competitive.  You had better believe I scoured through recipes to do a "one up" on St. Patties Day treats.  So I met this fine young recipe for Irish Coffee Blondies.  Oh yes.  It happened.  Two monumental things occurred for the baking of this treat.  Monumental thing #1: I learned how to make brown sugar.  It may have been monumental enough that I was out of a baking ingredient, since my supply is usually great when it comes to these things.  But I was OUT OF BROWN SUGAR.  I was not out of Google however, so I googled a recipe for brown sugar and made it.  Turns out all it is is granulated sugar and molasses.  Win.  Life moved on.  Monumental thing #2: I had to buy whisky.  I needed 2 tbsp. for the icing.  I bought what I later, lacking the proper terminology, described to my roommate a baby bottle of whisky (apparently is called a shooter).  In case you are ever wondering: these said shooters have 4 tbsp. of whisky.  Now you know.  So I did not help the green food dye stocks in the making of this blondie, but I did help my competitive spirit.  Take that random person who I read online.  I win! 

I finished with a celebratory lunch.  Roasted red pepper and carrot soup was a glorious tribute to my protestant ways on this day.  I added some snap peas. Awwww look at those catholics and protestants being friends and sharing the bowl! 

Between these endeavors and the surprise leprechaun party I threw for my kiddos on Friday, yes friends, St. Patrick's Day was a celebration to be repeated.  I already have new recipes in mind to try for next year and research to do on the profit made from investing in food dye. 

The food was a success and I think the leprechauns put a little magic inside every bite I ate, because it has resulted in two consecutive days that were genuinely good from start to end.  Loving life is a beautiful thing.  As Elf would say, "Smiling is my favorite," and I would have to agree.  It's not always easy though.  Lately, I have been challenged with that.  When circumstances change, the smile does not always shine with ease.  Many times challenges and loss revert even the most dignified of people into why-me-ers, foot-stompers and fist-pounders.  It also often creates a wondering about God and His goodness if such a thing was able to happen.  I think one would be hard pressed to find someone who has not had this wondering at one time or another.  Today, in light of that wondering, I have been encouraged by this:

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you...^. Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him." James 1:2-6,12

Encouraged by His promise and feeling a little luck o the Irish,

Me

When life gives you lemons... bake them into things.

In my mind there is little debate about the best dessert ingredient.  While this blog is about lemons, lemons do not take the title home.  The obvious answer is chocolate.  People who disagree are freaks of nature and I find you difficult to understand.  With this in mind, I was invited to bake gourmet desserts for a banquet up at camp in two weeks.  If it were up to me I would make three desserts that are chocolate in one variation or another, but some people prefer other things so I had to play with some not-chocolate dessert options.  One of my experiments resulted in the purchasing of meyer lemons.  I bought massive amounts of them because when I go up to camp to bake, the nearest grocery store is 20 minutes away so I stock up to avoid a mid-bake emergency trip to the grocery store.  I came home from camp with a good 10 extra lemons and no idea what to do with them.  Life didn't necessarily give me these lemons, I had willfully purchased them, but I had to figure out what to do with them, so bake-fest began.  I went on trusty Pinterest and the lemon-y treats were plenty, beginning with these Lemon Burst cookies.  Funny thing?  I found the recipe and it was ridiculously easy but did not require a single actual meyer lemon to make it thanks to the lemon cake mix.  10-0=10, so I was still stuck with 10 lemons. Quite the conundrum.  Your heart goes out to me, I'm sure. 

 

My pinning frenzy resulted in some sweet roll and cinnamon roll recipes however that did an adequate job of depleting my lemon supply.  They also depleted my time for sleep as I went to bed at 1:30am on a school night, but that surprises no one since I'll choose about any activity over sleep except maybe running (whether its from a bear or for "leisure").  I made blueberry cinnamon rolls, meyer lemon sticky rolls, and straight up cinnamon rolls (because all experiments need a control, right?). 

Exhibit A: Blueberry Cinnamon Rolls

Exhibit B: Meyer Lemon Sticky Rolls

Exhibit C: Straight Up Cinnamon Rolls

The sweet roll project used 4 lemons.  10-4=6 (admiring my math skills? bet so!).  Experimentation continued.  Lemon poppy seed bread was an obvious choice.  Using my favorite cookbook, Pie in the Sky, for the recipe was another obvious choice.  The beauty of these choices is that it resulted in a delicious treat which my kiddos enjoyed while it snowed! Seriously, who doesn't love shoving your mouth full of bread on a snowy day?  I'm a fan of it.  So were my students.

The result of all of these endeavors was one remaining meyer lemon, which was lacking a peel, since I used it for zesting.  I can feel good about my use of all of the lemons because even the leftover one got used somehow.  Not like I-used-all-of-the-buffalo-I-hunted-including-the-eyeballs good, but good. It turned out to be a tasty endeavor, although if the lemon man and chocolate man had to duke it out, I am still gonna put my money on chocolate man.

Sometimes life is full of lemons.  I am in a season of lots of lemons and life lemons aren't really the kind of lemons you can bake into delicious things (trust me, I would if I could).  There are not sufficient inspirational quotes or tubs of ice cream for some of the things life can throw at us.  Sickness, brokenness, and death are unfortunately things that no one is a stranger to.  In the midst of these seasons, it is so easy to throw tantrums, to question, to wrestle with reality or retreat.  We disdain the presence of these lemons and curse their existence.  I'm not gonna say that they compare to the challenge of finding the use of 10 measly meyer lemons that called to me from the fridge because they don't, but I am gonna say that the result is sweet, much like these desserts.  As it turns out, these life lemons challenge us to identify our purpose, mold us to be a better version of ourselves and give perspective to what is already in our lives and its value.  I told you, pretty sweet, right?  I would also like to mention that it is calorie-free sweet (and that's not because I made up a fake rule about it), so that's a double win.  As you are reading this, you might be wondering why I am getting so emo, since  my usual style is not this-belongs-on-a-hallmark-card but you also might be reading this in the midst of some big life lemons like me wanting to have a fist-pounding temper tantrum like me and needing some encouragement.

So today, be reminded that life lemons serve a purpose, what we go through is not in vain, our circumstances to not define us, and we are being sculpted into something beautiful through the process.  As a sculptor sculpts, it uses a chisel.  Chisels are not smooth and delicate objects; they are sharp and probably could be added as a weapon in the game of Clue.  Each chunk the sculptor carves from the rock is removed with force, but the end result is a masterpiece.  You are the Sculptor's work of art and the finished piece will be a thing of beauty, bringing glory to it's Creator.

"I have refined you, but not as silver is refined.   Rather, I have refined you in the furnace of suffering. I will rescue you for my sake— yes, for my own sake! I will not let my reputation be tarnished, and I will not share my glory with idols!" Isaiah 48:10-11

Donut you want some of this?

Yesterday, some people played football. Anyone watch?  I was too busy in the kitchen.  My chef-in-crime and I made a Superbowl feast, complete with a full assortment of apps and desserts.  I called my mom after the game and she asked me who won the game (of course she hadn't watched the game either which proves that I am my mother's daughter).  Though I had thrown a Superbowl party, I couldn't even tell her who had won.  I knew the jersey colors (because naturally some food has to be sporting the colors of each team) but couldn't tell her the names of the teams or anything.  This is not something I am ashamed to admit.  Our party rocked!  We now also have an official name for our duo: Reinas de la Kitchen.  The perfect tribute to our Mexican-American heritage (seriously some days you can't tell which one of us is the Mexican and which is the gringa).  Don't worry, we even made t-shirts.  Oh yeah. We are that cool. We are also that type-A.  Our party spread had been pinned for two months, we researched recipes, created and edited the pinboard multiple times, made massive lists and then cooked away.  Our spread included spinach artichoke dip, guacamole and chips, stuffed mushrooms, bacon potato bites, sliders, wings, pinwheels, chip 'n' dip cookies, brownies, cake pops and your usual suspects (m&m's, veggie trays, and chips).  Definite win. (Except the mini hot dog buns that we aren't going to talk about because they worked 3 weeks ago in the trial run but did not work all three times I attempted to make them this weekend and I used the same everything and I just really don't know what happened and when it failed I really just wanted to throw myself to the ground and have a tantrum like a two year old but saved it for the typed tantrum version that you just experienced in the form of run-on venting sentence.  Sorry you had to witness that.)  Other than the buns? Awesomeness happened.  I have changed my mind about football games, but only because it results in conning more victims to eat your experiments.   It is still a boring game.  I read somewhere the average football game is about 12 minutes of actual game time.  A cake takes 30-45 minutes.  A cake has more action than a football game. 

The beauty throwing big parties is always the leftovers.  Left over veggies naturally lent themselves to toppings for a breakfast-for-dinner omelet adventure, which we enjoyed today.  Donuts, which  are a food I do not usually enjoy, were requested for the occasion.  I do not own a donut pan, but not owning a culinary tool has never been a stopping point for me.  Donut pan was purchased.  Good thing the request was around Valentine's Day, because they were selling heart-shaped donut pans! Jealous? You probably should be.  While currently I am not enamored with the stores' plastering of hearts throughout every nook and cranny, I couldn't resist.  Hearts equal cuteness.

See? Doesn't that make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside?  Thought so.  

Then, much to my surprise, I actually liked these Mexican Hot Chocolate Donuts.  They were light and fluffy and made you feel like you were snuggling with puppies or something with every bite.  I think I could reconsider my stance on donuts after these, but since I only do one treat a week, it doesn't hold much of a candle to the other contenders.

The best part was that the directions to these donuts had an option for blow-torch use. You had better believe I own one of those, except I have been afraid to use it until now.  It is supposedly dummy-proof so I took it out tonight to try it, but unfortunately it is dummy-proof and I couldn't figure it out. Wah wah wahhhh.  Blow torch: 1 Me: 0.  I guess there is always a creme brulee to make to christen my blow torch.  But being type-A, you know I had a plan-B for my poor little donuts (aka the broil setting on the oven) and they turned out more than just fine. Sometimes plan-B isn't so bad, you know?  Tonight was a great reminder of that.  I think I am going on plan-M right now in real life but I am grateful for the assurance that just like this donut, I too will be made into something beautiful and that every difficult thing will result in good.

"We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."  Romans 5:3-5

I'm standing on that promise today, but more immediately sleeping on that promise because it is now 12:16 and those kids won't teach themselves. (Well, they might but it might not be the correct information. I'm quality control).

Good night!

I think I should only be trusted with a spoon. It's edges are round.

Are you ready for a sob story? Here it is.  I cut myself. It is embarrassing.  I mean here I am posting about my ability to bake delicious treats and I can't open a package of tempeh without slicing my finger to the bone.  Wah wah wah.  Yeah. Pathetic.  So I am now in the hunt for a sugar daddy or a sugar anybody who will sponsor culinary classes for me.  It is the logical next step.  My knifing skills are proving to be sub-par.  While few baked goods rarely require sharp knifes, I have been told that cake for all meals will result in the need for larger pants, obesity, and death. Blah blah blah.  So I eat other things and cut myself.  Typing this blog is currently a challenge but my non-bending finger has an awesome neon green Band-Aid on it, so I am not gonna complain too much.

Next subject.  Cake.  Black forest cake to be exact.  One of my teammates at school tells the best stories of her southern upbringing, her nanny and that Georgian cuisine of fried chicken, some greens and a big ole slice of black forest cake.  She NEVER eats sweets anymore, but anytime we start talking about baking, there goes Patti off down memory lane to the black forest cake.  I decided it was about time to bring one into work.  After all, it's only been 4 years.  There was some anxiety around bringing in her childhood favorite because that's a lot to live up to.  I was shaking in my boots.  Black forest cake also has 4 pieces to the process (see below):

You get your cake, then your ganache, then the whipped cream (with mascarpone cheese btw which equaled heaven), and finally cherries.  Many steps, many opportunities for fail.  But don't worry, no fail occurred.  Why I call it a win? My principal ate it for breakfast AND stopped my lesson to tell me it was amazing.  I wish there could be an extra blank at the bottom of my evaluation for that one.  If only raises could be acquired this way... 

I had full intention of snapping a photo after completion of the cake in all its glory to post, but it didn't occur.  The whipped mascarpone cream frosting was added to the cake literally minutes before heading out the door to school at 7:23 and my brain doesn't function until 8:25, right when my kiddos flood into my classroom and after a Rockstar (aka 220 milligrams of delicious caffeine).  By the time I realized the missed picture, I returned to the staff lounge to find only measly remnants of this cake.  Meh, I think I'll take a fully eaten cake over a picture.  If you are really curious, google "black forest cake".  I am sure you can find one that looks cool and similar to mine.

Man do I wish other things were as easy to google.  How about googling the timeline of my life for the next year so I am not in the lovely land of limbo anymore? That might be nice.  But alas, I think I will just have to figure that out as it comes.  Plus, God beats Google, so I think its all going to be alright.  I am so planned, to an extreme.  I live by lists and charts and I analyze the breakfast I eat as if this choice will effect the next fifty years of my existence.  With this cake, I had even planned out of all the recipes made last week, which one I would blog about and the types of pictures I wanted to capture days before I had ever even baked the cake.  Hyper-type-A.  Anyone who knows me can attest to that.  So, missing this photo event is one small (albeit accidental) step to handing control of this current limbo-life of mine to God, who knows way more about, sees way more of and wants way more from my life then I can ever imagine.  I think I'll leave it to him, and let go. 

In case your wondering whats next? Since I can't tell you much about whats next in my actual life because I don't know, but I can tell you that  me and my favorite cooking buddy are throwing a Superbowl party.  You better believe we have an awesome spread, a pinboard on Pinterest about it, pictures planned and probably will make a lovely list of that plan to ensure documentation.  Yeah.  I'm that kinda type-A.  Deal with it. Best part of this party? I only know who is playing because I wanted to make sure that some of the treats where coordinated to their jersey colors.  If you aren't coming to our Superbowl party, hope you enjoy your mediocre food and be thinking about ours.  Jealous?  You probably should be. 

Happy bowling of the super kind!

-Me

My instant gratification is taking 0.5 seconds too long to get here.

Waiting.  Not always a fan of it.  To give you some examples of how little of a fan I can be of waiting at times take example 1:
I was cooking dinner with my friend Amy on Thursday.  We were cooking this bomb cauliflower pizza crust (for clarification purposes, it is not bomb as in an explosive but bomb as in amazing, really good, you probably should make this in your near future) and while reading through the directions, it asked me to rice the cauliflower and then microwave it for 8 minutes. (For further clarification, I am not a microwave chef, this was one step in the recipe and I didn't want to waiver because it was my first attempt at the recipe.)  I reread the directions, thinking, wait, 8 MINUTES?! I put it in the microwave because I am a rule follower to the core but was tempted to take it out of the microwave every 17 seconds, thinking to myself, they couldn't really mean 8 minutes, right? 

If this has not succeeded in convincing you in my dislike of waiting, take example 2:
I was hungry yesterday.  You know, it happens.  I looked in my pantry and quickly selected a packet of oatmeal to eat.  (So I know you are probably expecting that my next sentence will be adding water and under-microwaving my oatmeal because I couldn't wait for it to cook thoroughly, but its worse, just wait.)  I opened up the package, grabbed a spoon and dug in.  Please people, oatmeal takes too long.  That's 2 minutes of my precious time.

So naturally, some recipes I avoid creating as a result of my dislike of this art known as waiting. Bread is usually on the list except we needed to have mini hot dog buns that were 1.5 inches in length, which are not sold at any supermarket in the 303.

This sweet ball of dough was rising for 3 hours to double.  3. Hours.  Good thing I am a multitasker and I check about 23 things off of my to-do list in those 3 hours.

Then you take that ball of dough, mold it into mini hot dog buns and let it rise for another hour.  Are you counting?  That's 4 hours so far.  Waiting.  Mucho.  Remember how I talked about that spiritual six pack I am working on last time? On top of the actual one I am working on courtesy of Jillian Michaels.  Yeah these mini hot dog buns are definitely an exercise of that.  I am slowly becoming a pro-waiter.

And it was worth it.  See? Ain't that a cute little bun?  All 1.5 inches of fluffiness?  You know you want some... I pulled them out of the oven and immediately quoted Despicable Me's "It's so fluffy, I'm gonna die!" They were adorable. Tres chic.   Yeah, I even learned a French phrase to encapsulate exactly how cool they were (and am now crossing my fingers hoping some French speaker doesn't rat me out if I used it incorrectly).

So, I guess sometimes the wait was worth it.  It resulted in the cutest dinner I have eaten in my life.  (And yes I am aware that is not the usual adjective that accompanies a dinner, but it was just that, cute.)  Waiting, while not preferred, can bring something more worthwhile than anticipated.  I'm not going to lie, I haven't gotten that much closer to enjoying waiting and would rather not be waiting as I currently am but such is life.  But until I get that spiritual six pack, I guess I've got some more "life crunches" coming my way  (sorry, lame wording but it had to happen and you are the sucker who chose to reach my blog so deal with it).  You can't even microwave a life-lesson for 8 minutes although I sure wish I could on every day that ends in y, and especially in the last approximately 4.42 days. I am grateful, however, that in my lack of patience I can rest in a Strength much stronger than mine, and I think I'll accept that.

"Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD." Psalm 27:14

Love y'all!

Me

Death by chocolate is preferable.

So, for most people, January is New Year's resolution time, but for the gym rats of the world, January seems to have the opposite effect (at least for this gym rat).  So I have used these few weeks to indulge in as many terrible things as possible, most including chocolate.  Example 1: Triple Chocolate Mousse. To quote myself, "Heaven, if heaven were 3 layers of chocolate."  And yes I just quoted myself and yes that could be categorized as conceited but the reality is is that I said that on Facebook already and then if you stalk me on both Facebook and my blog, you would notice the awkward repeat of the statement and to avoid that, I chose to sound conceited instead.  Now you know.

 

Three layers of decadence.  More than three hours of waiting to eat this.  It was brutal.  Why do all of the good desserts have to set for hours?   

Someone was tired of waiting.  I would have been doing this too, except I am not a small child and it changes from adorable to pathetic.  She asked me while waiting about how I made it.  I started listing all of the ingredients, but then I wanted to cry because there is no way that this is in the least bit good for you.  But, I did wait all week to eat dessert just for this and it was worth everything I denied myself all week long. I get to indulge a little.

One of the desserts I denied? Dark chocolate cupcakes with Cadbury Caramel Eggs baked inside with caramel frosting on top.  Oh. Yes. Batter shots are usually overrated, but um chocolate obviously makes things better, even batter shots, so here you go: batter shot. Bam.

This cupcake looks so innocent and sweet until you bit into that caloric filled Cadbury egg. Yeah, I am not helping out with America's obesity rate on this blog. Oops.

I even passed up my javalicious chocolate fix all week long so I could eat my Triple Chocolate Mousse.  It was real hard.  The espresso beans where taunting me from on top of the fridge every time I walked by.  Sometimes, in situations like these when I have junk food around the house (which isn't often) I like to eat it all at once so it won't tempt me any more, but that isn't a great life decision and 16-cookies-in-one-sitting incidents happen, sooooo I resisted.  You can give me a high five next time you see me for this one.

Chocolate.  Reason number 543 that I know God loves me.  Chocolate has been chasing me around all week as I have been faithfully doing my daily Six Week 6-pack.  Do not worry about the progress of my six pack though, Jillian Michaels is telling my midsection whats up.  I seriously think it might happen.  Its kind of freaky.  Okay, a lot freaky.  (My nickname as a baby was Buddha-belly to give you a hint as to my relationship to a 6 pack previously.)

Progress.  Sweet beautiful progress.  What I love is that the soreness is paying off.  It isn't happening overnight, and it will probably take 7 1/2 weeks instead of 6 but it has proven worthwhile.  One thing that I have learned is that usually the things that build the most strength and character take a while and never just fall into your lap.  You just have to keep pushing through, one more crunch, one more plank, one more jack knife, one more mountain climber.  I have been going through a lot of character building lately, and the "just one more" has been a quality mantra.  While character building is not always fun, maybe I'll get a six-pack personality out of all of it at the end, so I think I'm gonna just keep truckin' along on this one and when in doubt? Chocolate.  And God. Mostly God with some chocolate sprinkled on top.

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.” 1 Corinthians 9:24

Boot Camp: If Cookie Baking Were an Obstacle Course

Some of the most awkward conversations happen while checking out at stores.  Standing in line at Costco with my mom and grandma yesterday, we began talking to the cashier.  He was a youngin (well early twenties) and mentioned the fact that he was hungry.  He told his co-worker, "Man, I need to stop eating out and start cooking at home more but I just don't like to cook."  To that, my mom said, "...or just marry someone who cooks."  The response, "You see, I don't really know people from our generation who cook."  My mom quickly offered, "My daughter does."  He stared at me.  I stared at my feet.  It got reeeeaaaaal awkward.  While my mom was just trying to prove a point, he thought she was trying to set us up and since there are not I-have-a-boyfriend rings, how was he to know the difference?  Excellent.  My life is awkward.  I think the reason I always buy cute shoes is because they are an excellent distraction to look at during awkward moments.  The awkward moment happens, you need something to look at besides the witnesses to the awkward moment, the floor is the instinctual place to look and when you do? BAM! Cute shoes! Awkward moment forgotten.  I have a lot of awkward moments ergo a lot of cute shoes.  Justification.

In all reality though, having a spouse that cooks is a definite win.  I suppose you could call the last few weeks of my life wife-in-training boot camp.  I have made a ridiculous amount of food.  Ridiculous.

Pinterest is not helping curb my culinary cooking splurges either.  I can now not only think about things I might make but oogle over them and put them into categories, which sends me right to type-A heaven.  So, what have I been cooking recently? First, it started with my cookie boxes.  I made some Dark Chocolate Thumbprints, Gingerbread Biscotti, Oreo Cheesecake Cookies. Peppermint Sugar Cookies, Red Velvet Cookies, Eggnog Cookies, Caramel Apple Cider Cookies, Chocolate Peppermint Cookies, sugar cookies, chocolate chip cookies, spritz cookies, pecan nut balls and the final cookie that makes Christmas official for me... molasses crinkles.  Overboard? Probably.  Necessary? Oh yes.  In case you are curious, I made 3 separate cookie assortments so each box did not get everything but I had fun.

At level 2, I moved onto the holiday meals.  I had a Christmas party with some friends.  Weeks before, a pinboard was created with all of the recipes.  Wife in training boot camp level two entailed: Lasagna Cupcakes, Toasted Ravioli, Zucchini Fries, Stuffed Mushrooms, Italian Meatballs (and let me tell you what a sight it is to see a vegetarian kneading through a bunch of raw meat), finished with some Pizza Egg Rolls. 

Level three? Random acts of hosting, including but not limited to: Breakfast Cookies, Eggnog Tres Leches Cake, Spicy Banana Zucchini Balls, Chicken Pot Pie and my all-time favorite: Eggplant Parmesan. 

Level four of the training program is still in process because this year I have overtaken the Christmas dinner.  There are lots of levels to wife-in-training boot camp.  It's kind of like Angry Birds that way.  Let the adventures begin!

 Alongside wife-in-training boot camp, I have begun another type of training but this kind is a little more figure-friendly called Jillian Michael's 6 Week Six Pack.  You need to know that I mostly judge work out DVDs and write them off for a weak excuse of a workout.  This DVD? Yeah, not so much.  I want to die and say not very nice things to the t.v. screen while I am doing it.  I am a gym rat and work out all the time and this DVD still kills me.  But I do it.  Even if I want to die.  Jillian even says in the video, "You may feel like you're going to die right now. You're not.  You're going to look ridiculous. That's what you are gonna do."  I better look ridiculous in six weeks or else. I can't figure out what exactly the or else is going to be, but I guess I have 5 weeks and 2 days to think about it.  All I know is that I better build some brute strength during these six weeks to fight all the people who will fight me for feeding them all of my cookies and finishing the cookie season with a six pick if Jillian pulls through and I get me one of those with her DVD. 

All of this training and I am excited to see the payoff.  I love the talents God has given me and am now spending my time making myself the best me I can be for His glory.  Somethings are selfish (like the six pack) but my training is allowing me to show hospitality to those He puts in my life.  That, I can dig. 

I love the idea of being in training, of being refined by fire for God's purposes, to become the famously quoted woman of virtue in Proverbs 31.  I think someday, it will come in handy.

^"10A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
¹³ She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family

¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."

Proverbs 31:10-31 



Happy cookie season!
From,
The Troublebaker

Visions of Sugar Plums

I. love. Christmas.  There are a litany of things that make that statement true, including but not limited to: Christmas carols, the smell of pine tree smacking you in the face as you walk in your door, and (something I am sure you are not surprised by) the baking of Christmas cookies and plenty of willing victims for my bake fests with a legitimate excuse to bake something for them.  Yes, friends.  I. Love. Christmas.  While it comes with its pitfalls, which is a list that mostly just includes over-commercialization and fruit cake, Christmas is a great season.  I couldn't WAIT to start baking for Christmas.  Some people agonize over when is too early to put up decorations or blast their Christmas carols, but I always wonder, how early is too early to make holiday treats?  I even devoted an entire pinboard to it.  Well? This year I had to wait until December 2nd, but it was worth every bit of wait.  I kicked off the holiday season baking for a banquet and auction.  It all began with some Christmas Swirl Tea Cakes. 

Nothing says Christmas like a swirly-twirly cake!  This was a 1,2,3,4 cake (which is your basic recipe of 1 cup butter, 2 cups sugar, 3 cups flour and 4 eggs (then some salt, baking soda and vanilla) buuuuut being the troublebaker that I am and also being that I was at high altitude, my 1,2,3,4 cake was actually a 1, 2 (minus 2 tablespoons), 3 (add two tablespoons), 5 recipe.  So naughty...

Then the cakes were "tea-d" (as in cut into 1-inch squares and decorated).  A third got the lovely white chocolate glaze with hollies, but the rest were a creation due to the oh-crap-we-are-out-of-white-chocolate-chips-thanks-to-the-almond-coconut-bombs-I-made-last-night-and-we-are-in-the-middle-of-no-where-and-it-just-snowed-10-more-inches thing that sometimes happens. 

Creation 2 was a chocolate drizzle with red and green M & M's.  I don't think people were complaining at the change.  There were none left.

Creation 3 was a white chocolate drizzle, butter cream frosting and coconut to pay tribute to this great snow which almost left me trapped in this wonderful winter wonderland. 

Finally, were the cookies.  Two kinds were made.  First we had the buckeyes.  Since, they don't require baking, I guess they don't really count as cookies, but I have no other name for them besides balls of fat.  I don't think if you said to someone, "Hey, want to have a ball of fat?' however, anyone would actually accept.  Buckeyes.  A ball of peanut butter, butter, sugar and vanilla dipped in a chocolate coating of chocolate chips and shortening.  Yeah, ball of fat sounds like an appropriate name.  The others Coconut Almond Bombs.  They were increeeeeedible.  Okay, so I didn't actually try one, but the smell was incredible, they were all eaten up, and one of the men at the banquet tried a bite, then made everyone standing around him take a bite of his cookie because he thought it was that good.  I have decided to adopt this recipe for my family's cookie tray.  Since Christmas is a celebration, and therefore all foods are 0 calories , I will stuff my face full of them.  Looks like I've got me a new countdown... Count down to cookie-shoving-in-face!

Yup, Christmas is pretty swell.  I am looking forward to this season, I have dreams of what is to come in the upcoming year.  Plans? Not so much yet.  But visions?  Oh yeah.  Of things a little more than sugar plums.  Wishes? Oh yeah.  Of things a little more than my two front teeth.  All the while, I am grateful for a God who has greater visions then I can imagine and who gives us two front teeth and then some.  God is good.

Merry Christmas, y'all!

ABC, 123

The start of my endeavors in the culinary world began here.  Cranberry Sauce.  Every Thanksgiving, since I was seven, I was in charge of the cranberry sauce.  1 cup water, 1 cup sugar, 1 bag of cranberries.  I will forever have that etched into my memory.  I think if I ever suffered an illness or injury that resulted in a loss of memory, I could still make cranberry sauce.  Thanksgiving, for this reason is the height of my baking season.  I. love. fall. food.  Pumpkin? Cranberries? Apples? Can it get any better?  The answer is no.  (That was not really a rhetorical question or one where you had the option of disagreeing with me.  It's my blog people.)  So today I get to go to a pumpkin fest, where we cook and share fall recipes.  I chose pumpkin butter, spiced apple drop cookies and this cranberry upside-down cake that I found from Browneyedbaker.  The cranberries were a tribute to my roots, a reminder of who I am, what has made me, me.

It began with a VERY well buttered spring-form pan (2 tablespoons if you really want to know), a layer of 1/2 cups sugar with 1 teaspoon of cinnamon and 1/2 teaspoon allspice.  Over all that? Cranberries.  Oh yeah baby!

Then? Some batter.  I mixed 1 1/4 cups all purpose flour, 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder, 1/4 teaspoon salt, 1/2 cup sugar, 6 tablespoons of butter, 1 egg, 1/2 cup of milk, 2 teaspoons vanilla.  You know the drill, sugar and butter, then wet (minus milk), then dry, then milk.

Mixed and poured on top.  Confession?  At this point, I looked at the batter and thought, there is noooo way this is gonna be enough.  Feeling too lazy to make more, this was not going to be good. But...

Guess what? It was enough! I know I had you all worried.  I apologize for the anxiety I may have caused. If you were truly traumatized, I will make you an apologetic cranberry upside-down cake. Happy?
   

350 degrees and 35 minutes later? Ta-da! Oh man, I love fall! P.S. did you know that until this year I claimed summer as my favorite season?  True story! But then I realized that the fall foods, scarves and boots really made fall my favorite season and I had been denying myself claim to the best season ever. I. love. fall. 

O.K., so remember in the beginning of this blog when I was getting all sentimental over cranberries and the ooshy-gooshy back to my roots?  Well here is why:  this week I have been baking a lot and thinking a lot.  Still as unaware of the next steps on this path of mine, I was drawn back to the basics.  The basics of God's love for us, God's plan for our lives, God's goodness and the sweet blessing of His provision.  So often, the uncertainties of life draw us back to those simple truths that roll off our tongues in the good seasons without a second thought and they sound so much bigger.  To grasp these "simple" truths in these times seems difficult.  I am grateful however, that these are ingrained in my memory much like the cranberry sauce recipe.  God does love us.  God does have a plan for our lives.  God is good. God provides. 

"Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him." Psalm 34:8

From Scratch

I have been blessed with an incredible chapter on this journey uncharted.  The map from here is unknown but I am hopeful and trusting in a God who loves with a love that is furious as my man, Jeremy Riddle sings, a God who knows the deep desires of my heart and delights in blessing me. So I'm waiting in faith for what is to come. 

This is my blank slate. My canvas.  How about a devil's chocolate cake canvas?  Typical me, when I am in need of deep processing and meditation, I have some bake therapy.  Today, the therapy was at my summer camp and my victims were two unsuspecting user groups.  Group 1: 25 women who traveled all the way to camp to quilt.  Yeah, that's right. Quilt.  For the record, these people mean business!  I walked by at 12 pm, there were people quilting.  On my way to work at 6:30, quilting.  I would like you to know that I value sleep very little, buuuut I would definitely choose sleep over a quilt. 

So naturally, a quilter needs a cake with a quilt on it.  If all quilts involved caramel and chocolate, I might just change my mind about quilting.

A layered quilt cake.  Betcha can't do that on a sewing machine! Feeling accomplished and also slightly tempted to finally dig into one of my creations, it was time to move on.  Group 2? Nothing like group one.  Try 90 crazy high schoolers and their youth leaders (who pretty much act like high schoolers by profession) at a Harry Potter themed retreat. 

So, I decide these lovely youth need a piped frosting creation.  I regretted this decision about this far into the piping project.  I contemplated other hobbies, but then remembered that other hobbies were things like quilting and sports that require coordination I do not have so I kept piping.

End result? The monster book from Harry Potter.  Eyes? Check! Bookmark tongue? Check! A massive amount of sugar on top to send these kiddos into a sugar coma as they consume these along with the pumpkin pasties and butterbeer? Double check.  Seriously people, butterbeer is cream soda with butter, brown sugar, heavy whipping cream, and a few other things all topped with a dollop of whipped cream.  Sugar rush inevitable.  Also convincing me that if you could develop Diabetes over night, this would do it for you.

Piping.  Not something I will ever do again to this degree on a cake of this size.  Bad life choice.  But its so fluffy (It's so fluffy, I'm gonna dieeee!)! So the perfectionist in me desiring a wonderfully fluffy monster cake was glad for the piping (while my hands were not). Details.

So, now at the end of the day, I now sit here.  I am wishing my life canvas were as complete as my cake canvas because the unknown is not always a comfortable place to be.  But I relieved to know there is an end, there is a plan, and a God who knows whats up when I don't.

"And the LORD will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water whose waters do not fail." Isaiah 58:11

 

Victory in Slow Motion

Do Do Do Do Do Dooooo Duhduhduh Do Do Do Do Do DUHduhduhduh. In case you are wondering what that song is, its this one: Chariots of Fire.  Yeah that one.  That's the sound of victory.  If you want to know, this song can be contextual to my life next to never because I HATE to run.  I loooove to work out, its something psychological maybe but regardless, running is not my thing.  But today I am feeling victorious, hence the song of victory.  You see, last year I was coerced into running a race.  Remember the aforementioned hatred of running?  Yeah, was more true then than it is now.  But, I like my friend, so I accepted the invite and my stubborn butt ran the whole 4 miles.  I was slow, but I did not stop.  By slow, I mean I could have power walked around the mall 10 minutes faster than I ran this race.  I finished with an end time of 58 minutes and some change.  The most ironical thing is that I was assigned the number 1 for my running tag last year.  I was definitely NOT in first place or in any hopes of getting there.  So this year I moved from turtle categories.  Last year I would have been classified as a box turtle (about .25 mph) and now I will call myself a terrapin turtle, which apparently is comparatively faster, while still a turtle.  I cut 9 minutes off my time!  Still slow? Definitely but I whopped old-me's butt.  So, ha! Take that old-me.  VICTORY!  Maybe the bigger feat was that I did it without anyone making me except my own stubbornness.  Maybe next year I will attempt again and chop some more time off. I am determined.  Also, you should know I named my playlist for the run "Si se puede" which I think helped.  It started off with some Van Halen's Jump. Mid run, right up the hill, the song that came on was this: Mika's Big Girl (You Are Beautiful).  That song took me right up the hill.  Finished up with some Da Family's Boom Boom Mama.  Playlist also equaled victory.

I love this feeling but as I relish in my own little victory, I am feeling overwhelmed by the awareness that God's victory is so much greater.  He does things far bigger in the blink of an eye, almost as an afterthought.  Like what about that one time God helped David kill Goliath with a sling shot, or helped Joshua conquer a city by just marching around it 7 times, or won a battle with 300 men, or a battle was won just because Moses held up his rod above the battle.  Now THAT'S victory. 

I'm gonna end today with my song of victory.  It is not one that you will find on a soundtrack but I love God's victory.  He is good!

"But thank God! He gives us victory over sin and death through our Lord Jesus Christ." 1 Corinthians 15:57

Peace and love y'all!  (And don't worry, I'm baking soon!)
Me

A toast: not the kind with jelly but the kind you give to a Mr. and Mrs.

Here is a riddle for you: What's thesis, maid of honor, and first week of school all over? Oh yeah, me last week.  Ok, so its not a good riddle but I am serious, last week was busy.  I would like to take a moment to celebrate the completion of a lot of things last week.  *moment*

This Saturday was the wedding of my dear friend.  We have been friends since 4th grade and let me tell you, of all the makeovers, made-up dances, hours at Starbucks, and general shenanigans, this event has been the climax of our friendship thus far.  You do not know this girl, perhaps, but you should know this incredible story. 

Read incredible story here:
(for the record the incredible story is titled incredible because of events not because I wrote it)

Upon proposal, almost two years ago, this couple was in love.  During their engagement period, there was a point when they could have called it off.  It would have been justified.  This couple however chose to stick it out.  People have divorced for less, yet they fought.  Most would call them crazy but I find them anything but.  This is a testament to God's grace and redemption. The world is full of brokenness and this brokenness results in this search for a source of perfection.  In a time when everything was telling them to call it quits, they ran to God and God, the Author and Perfecter, brought them closer to Him and closer to each other.  Since this, they have let God write their love story.  Almost two years later, they are now married.  It makes me want to shout from a rooftop, "Wooooo marriage!"  Their relationship deserves celebration and points directly to the glory of God and His power.  I know that they would have not been walking down the aisle if God had not given them His strength, His grace and His love, which surpasses all.  People fail, God is unfailing.  Let Him write your love story, because it lets you get your hair did, invite your friends to wear matching dresses, dance down the aisle, enjoy delicious food, and get your groove on. 

I am praising God today for this couple.  I know that their choice to stick it out will bless them in their marriage down the road and has prepared them for inevitable challenges to come. I also know that it will allow them to mentor others.  God is going to use this couple to bring more redemption to marriages elsewhere.   I love that God gets to use these two broken people to do huge kingdom work. Praise. the. Lord.

^{1 Corinthians 1:27-31
"27} But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. ²⁸ God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, ²⁹ so that no one may boast before him. ³⁰ It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. ³¹ Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.”

"Who likes married people?????!!!!!????" -(quote of the wedding, maybe you had to be there... but this blog could not end any other way.  Sorry. But not really.)

LIfe is better in a wonton cup.

Routine? Sometimes I tire of it.  I am on week 5 of baking the same recipes.  Like today is Tuesday? Chocolate cake, pizza, Texas toast and my only play time in the kitchen of the week: treaty Tuesday.  Delicious or not, it is repetitive.  Its like having a Monday outfit, Tuesday outfit, Wednesday outfit ... and never wearing anything else.  Its time to play.  So?  Cake pops have been peaced out and I am moving on to wonton cups.  You can put anything in a wonton cup.  It is fun and if a dessert can be flirty (which I think it can) it is flirty. 

So I began with a mocha mousse.    Love.  This was definitely the most popular.  Even I, the rabbit ate one or three of them (which totally negates the appropriate portion size of a wonton cup, but who cares).

Next?  I moved on to a limeade tart with a lime strawberry sauce.  Yum.  Except I was able to resist these ones.

Then? Well... I threw out Wednesday cake pops from the menu, treaty Tuesday was over but my wonton cup craze was not.  So? I made them for the campers.  How about a cherry cheesecake.  Yup.  It happened.

Its official.  Wonton day is now Wednesday.  Changing the wardrobe up.  Does this wonton make my butt look fat? Well, not yet, but it will... Oh wontons, you are cute and delicious.  I wonder, if all the icky things life gives you were put in a wonton, would they automatically improve? I might enjoy that.  If I could put my half finished action research project or my journey through the visa process in a wonton cup with some whipped cream and a dash of cinnamon, I totally would.  Unfortunately, wontons are not duct tape or Jesus so I will trudge on, remembering  "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, ² through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. ³ Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴ perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵ And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." Romans 5:4 

Yeah, that sounds pretty alright to me. Can't wait for my next wonton adventures!  Now what to put in them next...

Peace, love, and wontons!